lingeringfear | NPC Inbox: Fear

[She's unbothered while she paints- Fear is aware of her presence of course, even watching her from time to time, but other than a few wisps of emerald smoke licking at the corners of the room, there's no trace of him. He isn't yet strong enough to manifest himself physically, but he keeps the temple quiet for her, allows her to work in peace.

When she returns to her home, she'll find a message on her phone from him.]

Your mind will be protected again soon.

Is that why you think I did that?

No. I know why you did it.

I just wanted you to know.

Oh. All right. [ That would be the best, easiest, and most intelligent way to end it because, remember, you hate Fear, but... ] Thanks.

[ For everything. She's got a lot of things she wants to bother him about, to bitch at him about, but she knows that time isn't now. ]

I should be the one thanking you.

[Which takes a little bit of pride swallowing to do, but Fear has at least always tried to be amicable. Besides, he knows where he'd be without her.]

I know what you did. You may have saved everyone in the city with your actions. I understand that it was for your people's survival more than it was for us, but- still. Thank you.

[ Yeah, she thinks, he should be thanking her; they all should be, but then that quiet voice in the back of her head silences those thoughts with just a be grateful you're alive today. Fights. Sharp words. Those things aren't for now. ]

...I don't have people here. I have friends that I know will leave me one day and letting them go then or later won't change a single thing.

But you're welcome. I'll do it again if I have to.

We can both hope that it won't come to that again.

I've never been that great with hope. It always manages to disappoint.

[ She's done a lot of hoping, both here and back home, and she finds that it really doesn't do much for her. She gave up on hope long before she ever came to this place. ]

I've had the same experience.

[Sick burn, Fear.]

How about this in turn- if it does come to that again, I prioritize a smaller group of you. Sorrow tried to get me to abandon half the city last time, to just move Hope... it's the same thing he did when we all died the first time.

I don't know if it's the right thing to do or not, but it would ensure that someone survives.

There is no right or wrong in this situation. Whatever choice is made, it's one that will have consequences.

Would prioritizing a smaller group be better? Easier? Who would you choose, how?

Easier, yes.

I don't know how I'd chose. I'd have to move Hope, even if he refused. And then- I'm not sure. Random, maybe.

Either way, it's a hypothetical that we shouldn't run into again. I've just been thinking about the things that Sorrow has demanded of us. He told me about the Door, how to open it, died so that I could get Hope to safety- and now, would have rather had me doom most of you to save Hope once more.

It's a complicated situation. I'm just glad we all managed to make it through this time.

[ None of that settles the new tingle of fear in her belly. Hmm. There's something in that text. Maybe it's the word 'demanded' that catches her eye but something does. ]

...Do you trust Sorrow?

[Well, this is a sticky situation for all of them.]

I know what motivates him, so yes. Sorrow prioritizes survival above all else, and survival hinges on Hope. He would sacrifice everything if it meant that Hope survives- he already has, really. Hope's existence means that we can always restart the cycle and try again.

It doesn't mean that I have to like it.

What don't you like about it? How would you change things, Fear?

It's cold, isn't it? If I didn't have the power to transport Hope, to keep him safe... then I'm not sure if he would have protected me. He didn't protect the others.

But then again, if I got my way, we'd all probably be dead. I don't make those kinds of decisions easily, I just want to take everyone and run. That isn't sustainable. What Sorrow has put into motion is.

It's as simple as that, in the end.

If we all die down here, it won't be on your head. It sounds like Sorrow is the one to make the choices and lead the pack but isn't what he's doing a different kind of running? Won't they just find us again?

We're running strategically. Stopping long enough to catch our breath and look at the situation, trying to figure out of there's something we can do that will someday let us stop running.

I have spent a chunk of my life on the run and it didn't give us the time to figure out what to do to stop running, it just gave us the time to figure out how to keep going when they inevitably found us. And they always did.

But they learned that chasing after me did them no good. It was a cycle, one they figured out how to break. We were always a step ahead of them so they... they took a different route and took something precious to make me come to them.

Whatever it is that's after you, they'll find a way to change the cycle. [ However that is, she doesn't know, but her life experiences have taught her that running does nothing but exhaust and drain. ]

Then I suppose we need Sorrow to figure out how to change it first. Luckily, there isn't much precious to us anymore- except for all of you and one another. Our city can be destroyed, our landmarks and art and civilization are already gone. The only thing we're trying to preserve is our own lives.

If anyone is capable of finding a way to change this, he is. I just help with the running.

I don't like that idea. He's already proven to be a failure once.

Why do you have so much faith in him?

No. He saved us once.

After they came for us last time, when the others were all dead and it was just Sorrow and Hope and myself... I should have fought with the others, but I fell back. Sorrow told me the location of the Door and that I needed to bring Hope to it, to open it and keep Hope safe.

Then he stayed behind and died to buy us time to escape. His faith in us gave our species a chance to fight another day.

Edited 2017-06-04 15:48 (UTC)

Is that saving and sacrifice when he knew Hope would bring him back? That you would locate the Door, open it, and create a new host population to feed off of. You weren't supposed to fight with the others because then you'd all be gone and there would be no one to save Hope and bring Sorrow back.

Smart, strategic, selfish.

Does that diminish what it was? We were forced into an impossible situation and he died for us. I don't think it's insignificant because he hoped that we'd be able to revive everyone. For all he knew, we'd screw it up somehow... Hope and I weren't exactly the most distinguished of the gods, before all this.

That's probably a good descriptor from your eyes. I don't think he's selfish, though- the opposite. Just not where it concerns you.

Not to you, it wouldn't. You see him in a very different light than I do. [ Then again, can she blame Fear too much? Sorrow saved him, saved Hope, and virtually gave them a second chance, but she has trouble seeing past the fact that Sorrow is a giant dick and knows how to close the Door and doesn't.

She's likely painted a picture of him that she now uses as target practice with a bow. Arrow to the face! A thousand arrows to his face! ]

You were the last ones: did he really have any other choice? I don't think so. If I were you, I'd keep that in mind.

I do. Knowing exactly how strategically useful you are gives you equal footing when trying to reason with him. Keep that in mind next time you see him.

You're trying to talk me away from him. [He observes, a little cheekily.] Does that mean you're starting to like me?

NPC Inbox: Fear

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